archives lifestyle relationships

The Story of My Blog Name

September 2014 seems so far away as I reflect back on why I started the blog. Long-time followers and readers know that I began the blog mostly as a way to keep my writing chops fresh before beginning another, more in depth, writing project. Beyond needing a form of creative practice to help my writing evolve, I definitely wanted to share a message with my readers. What that message would be was unclear at the time, but one thing was very clear to me: I wanted to help my readers and communities outside of my own understand that gay relationships are no different in the day-to-day than those of heterosexuals. 

The title Gays in the Life was perfect. I wanted a title that was reminiscent of one of my favorite television shows, Sex and the City, and a title that could blend with a range of topics. My goal would be to highlight various aspects of relationships in a way that would make any reader think “Hey! That sounds like us!” or “Wow, I had no idea.” I’ve always believed that the more we understand each other as a people, the more we can connect. If I could write a post that highlights how we maneuver gender norms in our household, and that helps the reader learn something about the topic at hand, then I’ve done my job. If I can share a post about how American, Black lives are in danger and provide personal accounts supporting this fact, then I’ve taken a  step towards helping someone become aware. If I can share a post that shows whoever that we’re just regular, schmegular people trying to survive and live freely, then I’ve helped someone expand their level of openness and understanding. 

Helping others think a little differently about queer culture and Black culture are of the utmost importance on Gays in the Life. As a gay, Black man I’ve had experiences that are unique to me, but not uncommon for others who look like me, or who happen to also be queer. With that being said, however, there are so many people in our lives who have no idea what life is for us. Creating a platform that would provide a glimpse into my world, my experiences, and my thought processes could only help those who are willing to learn be more open to what they don’t understand. Take a look through my lenses, if you will. 

Gays in the Life is six years old now and has grown quite a bit. The title has withstood many platform updates and content-shifts, and still managed to remain relevant to what was going on in my life at the time of that particular post. I’m constantly thinking about what I want to say to my readers and followers. I want to present a clear message, with an authentic edge that is real life. I learned at a very young age to acknowledge every shadow in your life and to find the color in the darkness. I can show you all best how to accomplish this by letting you into my world, sharing my lessons, best practices, and insights in real-time. 


I was born gay in this life. I’ve always been gay in this life. I will always be a proud, Black, gay man in this life. This will always be true of Gays in the Life. Thank you for taking the time to peek into my world. I’m excited to share so much more with you all in the very near future.

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