30

A great work friend of mine asked me if I had any anxiety about turning thirty. The answer is no. I’ve always been okay with aging – look forward to it most of the time – but I’m sure there will be moments when I’m not. Today is my thirtieth birthday.

I see making it to thirty as a cue to begin the next phase of my evolution. My student loans are almost completely gone – my closest friends know how much of a nightmare that has been over the years – I have a solid life and marriage with S, my work life and creative projects are going extremely well, and my closet is growing into the GQ dream I’ve always wanted.

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I foresee a good amount of travel for S and I. We’ve earned some vacations beyond just a week off at home. Through my twenties I’ve learned a great deal about finances. Because we’ve been so smart and plan realistically, I know travel around the world is something we could easily do; sooner rather than later and before kids enter the picture.  

<ponder> We never did have a reception for our marriage and plan on having a big anniversary party at this point. I will have a french bulldog, named Biscuit Habanero. I will find a way to become my own boss and escape the corporate world, but in the meantime, I’ll gladly collect the experience. I will add a Burberry blanket to my list of favorite personal items and brew my own kombucha. </ponder>

All of those facts, wants, and wishes? I believe them to be possible because I’ve grown into someone who puts in the work and gets what they want. Earlier this week, I was journaling in my notes app when this life breakdown came to mind:

  • I always did really well in school – K through 12, taking advanced placement classes early in high school and performing with an award-winning band (shoutout to BARTLETT HIGH SCHOOL!)
  • In college I realized I didn’t know how to study and began to learn – the hard way – about hardship and the struggle to pay out-of-state tuition for college. I also made some of the best friends I could ever ask for and traveled with some of the best groups and people I share the honor of being called an Indiana University Alumni with.
  • Living a low-carb, ketogenic lifestyle has helped me feel what living a healthy life should be. I’m sharp, never sluggish, and want to be active most days – lifting or yoga. I was over 300 lbs at one point. Battling weight-loss has without a doubt conditioned my perseverance in life.
  • As I leave my twenties, I’ve discovered balance. All of my past experiences have pushed me and helped me flourish as a human being. So thank you all for helping me get here.

I’m excited to be thirty and ready to see what levels I can reach before forty. Now, back to listening to Beyonce, watching S play video games, and chilling with my friend Mary Jane. I have a birthday to get ready for!

Have fabulously zen day, everyone.

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Ceiling Fan Thoughts 

(Written using the Flowstate app, 5 min setting.)

What’s on my mind? Headphones on, I lay here playing with music options and staring at the fan go ’round above me. I’m thinking about how I need to get out of this lazy funk I’ve been in lately. It’s not even cold outside, yet, so I can’t blame winter. Work life has calmed down, although S still has a little bit of school left. I can’t wait until that’s done. I’d like to have my hubs back, please.

 
I’ve taken some time off from posting on the blog. That’s mostly because I’ve had to evaluate how much I’d like to have on my plate. I started the blog as a way to keep my writing chops polished and conditioned; experiment with my voice and see how I developed. This was only to help me prepare for the writing of a book I’ve had outlined since 2010.

 
Now the blog is becoming a life of its own. What to do? I may need to consider taking time away from one project – that’s obviously not the blog. I can still write and work on the book, but that production is about to slow down. Juggling too much at once could harm my intended goals more than aid them. I wonder what this will turn into; Gays in the Life. I’m anxious to see.