Weekly Audit 3: The L Word

How do you say I love you? Is it the way you look at each other or in the little isms in your day to day with each other? Think about this for a second. How important is it to you that you hear the words I love you, and if this does matter to you, how often?

S and I aren’t terribly expressive in person. We say I love you here and there – sprinkling the phrase throughout the week, but not necessarily each day – and this isn’t something that’s been an issue for us.

 

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(This picture was taken the night we first told each other we loved one another… Awe.)

I tend to show love with physical contact, while S translates the little things as me caring for him. For example: I’m not a big toucher… Family, friends, I won’t really hug you unless I haven’t seen you in quite some time. I’m the complete opposite when it comes to S. I’ll mess with his hair or sneak up on him in the kitchen; hugging him from behind. My favorite is holding a free hand while he’s driving or resting my hand on his leg.

S usually tries to bat me away as he’s got a different love language – acts of kindness. He stays pretty busy so I try to accomplish whatever I can in our home – chores, errands, taking care of our fur-child – before he even has to think about it. Whenever he has a moment to relax and decompress, I make sure he can enjoy it fully. 

Don’t get it twisted though… I usually save the hardwood floor cleaning for him 😉

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! ANSWER THE QUESTION WITH YOUR PARTNER OR FRIENDS, AND SHARE YOUR RESPONSES IN THE COMMENTS. OFF YOU GO!

(If you haven’t already, I suggest you dive into finding out what your love language is… do that here.)

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Who Doesn’t Love Baby Horses?

Happy Easter, everyone!

Is everyone enjoying their families and friends? Cool. S and I were able to make it down south this weekend to visit the parents and spend some time with other members of the family. Weekends go by entirely too fast, but even a day or two with family – whether that be blood or chosen – is a treat.

We’d all had pretty busy days prior to this weekend, so the bunch of us found ourselves going to bed at 10pm – struggling to get through the Villanova and Kanas final four game. Just before we put our phones down for the final time that night and the lights went out, mom informed us that a new baby horse had been born.

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I’ve always found it so fascinating how newborn animals are up and walking mere moments after they’ve entered the world. This calve is the mother’s first and all is going well. She wasn’t sure at first when it came to letting the baby nurse. She kept circling the newborn, not letting him get close enough to nurse. Dad was able to hold the mother still until she fell into the role of mother. Cool, right!?

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And look at this one. What a face!

I hate to get back to the regular work week, but alas… I hope you’ve all had a gorgeous weekend.

This isn’t Spring.

Mother Nature decided to cancel all our plans this weekend, and I’ve gotta say, I’m not mad about it. The calendar tells us that we’re currently in the first days of spring, but the six inches of snow S and I got in our area suggests otherwise.

This was going to be one of our busier weekends in a long time. It was S’s birthday weekend so we had Saturday daytime activities planned, a friend’s 90s party that night, and a baby shower on Sunday. I already hate driving, so once the snow confirmed I wasn’t going anywhere this weekend, I refilled my champagne and got cozy on the couch.

 

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Recommended Snow Day Items:

  • A cocktail, wine, or bubbly adult beverage.
  • Netflix, Hulu, or your preferred streaming service to start a new show or play catch-up on something you’ve already started.
  • A short “to-do” list: Don’t be all the way lazy. Try to get some things done around the house!

I was able to get a head on some chores and now I have extra time to work on personal projects – which is always nice. S got to have a very relaxed birthday weekend filled with video games. Reynold is happy to have had all of his dads’ attention this snowy weekend.

Have a good day!

— J

What’s the Tarot Say?

A Cinderella reading for real! What do the cards have in store?

1.Past. The Nine of Swords. This card represents dark visions or a period of depression. Only now do I feel like I’m off the roller coaster. At least for a moment. I was fighting to breathe before.

2.Present. The Six of Pentacles. Growth, prosperity, generosity. S and I are both on a roll in career and personal life right now. This current moment in time is a humble reminder to keep working hard and not take advantage of any opportunities that come our way.

3.Future. The Four of Pentacles. Control, possession. This is fabulous news for the home and bank account. Be mindful, however, of becoming too controlling or possessive. Wealth is but a concept, so don’t let material foolishness drain your soul. Noted.

Weekly Audit 2: What Do You Love Most About Yourself?

This week’s audit question is… “What do you love most about yourself?” Let’s see.

Something I find most interesting in society are the amount of stories there are to be told. My story is what I love, as it’s produced countless gems that have morphed me into the individual l am today.

The writing’s on my wall are what keep me driven and what give me the capacity to learn from any hiccups life may conjure. Through all of the tough times I’ve experienced in life, I’ve learned to welcome failure.

You see, with each mistake comes a lesson learned; another gem.

I’ve had plenty a lesson in my thirty-one years in the land of the living. Those lessons, and the evolution that comes along with them, are what keep me on track.

 

Now it’s your turn! Answer the question with your partner or friends, and share your responses in the comments. Off you go!

Thanks for Coming!: My RuPaul’s Drag Race Podcast.

Are you a fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race? Well get into this gig! Join us weekly as discuss all things RuPaul’s Drag Race and much more. We’re currently wrapping up on All Stars 3 coverage and are gearing up for season 10! We’re so pumped and worn out.. back to back seasons?! YAS.

New episodes every Monday!

Show link:

iTunes – apple.co/2o0hvmw
SoundCloudhttps://soundcloud.com/tfcpod
Stitcherhttps://www.stitcher.com/podcast/thanks-for-coming

Social Media:

Facebook – Facebook.com/ThankssforComing
Twitter & Instagram – @tfcpod

 

Thanks for Coming!

Weekend’s End

The weekend never truly feels long enough. Even more so when it’s the weekend we lose an hour of our days due to daylight savings time! Whether your weekends have been filled with chaos, great surges of productivity, or long, glorious hours on the couch in your favorite pajamas… we hope it’s been a good one!

(And, we don’t wish chaos upon anyone, but you know how it is… sometimes you just can’t catch any chill!)

Sunday wine 1

(Wine pictured: Oliver Winery’s Creekbend Vineyard – Chambourcin Rose & Traminette. Pure deliciousness.)

Hopefully you’re relaxed and calm as you enter the work week. S and I will be enjoying some of this lovely, low(er)-carb wine from Indiana favorite Oliver Winery. We always support local if we can, and we encourage you to do the same 🙂

(throws peace sign)

Mini Quiches

Good morning! What’s for brunch today? Mini quiches.

 

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Ingredients:

  • 4 oz of ground sausage
  • 2 oz of cream cheese
  • 1 tbsp of animal fat (or coconut oil)
  • 8 eggs
  • 1/3 cup of chopped red onion
  • 1/2 cup of spinach
  • 1 tsp of black pepper
  • 1 tsp of cayenne pepper
  • A few shakes of salt
  • Shredded Colby-jack cheese

Supplies:

  • 1 large mixing bowl
  • Medium-large skillet
  • Spatula
  • The appropriate measuring cups and spoons
  • 1 standard sized muffin pan (makes 12 quiches)
  • Coconut oil non-stick cooking spray

 

I love making these bad boys. They’re so easy and get tastier each time we make them. To start, begin to brown the sausage in stove-top skillet set to medium heat. As you chop and brown the sausage, add your animal fat to keep our next ingredients from sticking to our non-stick pan.

You’re probably thinking, why do we need to add an ingredient that helps ingredients sticking to a non-stick skillet? We all know our non-stick skillets and pans lose their power as we use them. Adding animal fat helps in this department AND add to the flavor.

After you’ve added your animal fat, throw in the chopped red onion, spinach, and cream cheese. Keep an eye on your cream cheese. As it heats up it’ll soften, allowing you to mixing it up with all the other ingredients in the skillet.Mix up your eight eggs in the large mixing bowl and add your seasonings. You’ll need to spray your muffin tin with a non-stick cooking spray. I prefer Spectrum’s Coconut Oil Spray.

Fill each muffin space on the pan with just enough egg to cover the bottom. Spoon your sausage, cream cheese, spinach and onion mixture into your muffin pan and be sure to leave room for more egg. Each muffin space should only be about half full at this point. Go ahead and add more egg to each muffin space to submerge the sausage mixture. Sprinkle a dash of Colby-jack cheese on each space. Time to bake!

Your oven should be preheated to 400 degrees. I wish I had an amount of time to share with you here, but I don’t. Channel your inner Aunty, Grandma, or Mom and bake until golden brown.

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Serve warm and enjoy!

Note: Don’t be afraid to have fun with this recipe. I once made these with mushrooms, jalapeños, and ham. I believe I sprinkled sharp cheddar on those though. I suggest serving these with your favorite hot sauce on the side as well.

 

 

 

Weekly Audit 1: What’re the Best Qualities You Bring to a Relationship?

The time has come to look in the mirror. What is it that makes you you? No relationship is the same, but there’s one thing I know to be true: That in order to have a successful relationship, you must first know yourself. The beautiful part about people and the relationships we experience, is that we’re constantly evolving; flourishing as individuals and elevating our relationships.

There’s probably not one person that has entered a relationship completely knowing themselves. And if they have? I’d dare to ask how many relationships they’d been in previously or what they learned from their last relationship. The point is that part of our evolution as couples is learning as we go; learning from mistakes and applying the changes as we work through it together.

Welcome to your first weekly audit with Gays in the Life! Now it’s time to focus on you for a second as I give you your first assignment. Here goes…

  • I’d like you to sit down with your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend, and discuss the following topic: What are the best qualities you have to bring to a relationship?

If you happen to be single at the moment, feel free to gather some friends and discuss this amongst each other. I want us all to have fun with this. Please please please let me know how your first audit goes in the post comments or on the Facebook page. I’m always so delighted when I hear from you all.

Ready, go!

You didn’t think I was cutting out without sharing did you? Some of the best qualities I believe I have to offer in a relationship are:

Wisdom – I haven’t had as hard a life as most people in the world, but I’ve been through enough to be grateful for so much. My experience in life as a young, black, gay man has afforded me the ability to approach any bump in the relationship road with an open mind and clarity. I’ve had my fair share of questionable guys and have made terrible decisions in the past, but I’ve grown from each lesson. The ability to process issues and communicate clearly with S helps us thrive. S was not a communicator when we met, so I’m proud to say I’ve helped him morph in that way and I’ve learned much more about myself in the process.

Spice – I’m a spicy personality and there’s no getting around that. I present as a cool, zen queen that isn’t bothered by much. In relationships though, I tend to be the outspoken one and will keep you guessing. Bland has never been part of my brand, so don’t be surprised if one day my look suddenly changes, I want to go dancing, or you hear me schooling someone for something stupid they’ve just said. I love my couch and pajamas, but I love a good party and a bit of excitement too. Did I mention I’m contagious?

Strength – I stand firmly by those I love and think of myself as the foundation of the majority of my relationships. Whether it’s tough love, providing a sense of calm and support, or lifting you up when you’re down, people know they can count on me. In my marriage, I’m able to keep our foundation strong because I can go to my husband and check in; letting him know I’m there regardless of what. It’s the little things that have the biggest impact, people.

I hope you all enjoy your first assignment. Please feel free to share the assignments with friends and family, and let me know how it goes!

— J