Tuesday nights he has class. Any other night, he gets home about an hour after I do, and the usual weeknight routine of hanging out and decompressing on the couch together commences. Best Coast plays in the background as I sit here at the kitchen table; trying my best to think of something to do, or decide which band I should listen to next on Tidal. Boredom hits me pretty hard every once in a while, and most of the time will guide me in a very unproductive and lazy direction. This was almost one of those instances, but some nagging energy from within managed to place my ass in this chair in front of this computer screen.
“What to do, what to do?” Tonight was the first night I went walking, solo, on the trail near our condo. The weather was too charming for me not to get an extra workout in, and despite violent winds, I enjoyed my hour stroll around Eagle Creek. “Now what?” I’m glad we canceled our cable, because even the streaming services were failing me, and YouTube was not piquing my interest in the slightest. “I guess I’ll shower.” I showered because I was bored, and continued to avoid cleaning the refrigerator; something I’ve been meaning to do for the past few weeks. The intensity of my walk was no more than that of walking a dog, so a shower most definitely was not a need, but it was something to do. “I wish he were home… then at least he could be in charge of picking what show we watch… or we could play Mario Kart… Do I want to play Mario Kart?
Significant others, boyfriends, or girlfriends make the time pass easier during these bored moments. I can’t stand being bored and alone, because I can never decide what I want to do. “What do you want to do?” is a common response to him asking me “What do you want to do?” At least if he were here, being lame and bored with me, I’d have someone to interact with while scrolling through Netflix listings. No activity, show, or chore sounds remotely appealing at the moment, so sitting here listening to music and attempting to write something seems to be the best way to battle boredom’s persistent energy. I have one hour or so until S walks through the door. Let’s see if I can finish this post by then.
I don’t know what to say, All I know is that I try to be the rock for all to lean on and internalize the darkness, the boredom. It is for love that I do what I do. Yet for me I find that my release is solitary. So All I can say is share what you can and build on what you have. The rest will work itself out in one way or another. If you press it hard then you may break when you did not mean to.
There are days that I long for boredom.
I definitely try not to complain, but it got the best of me Tuesday night 😛 thanks for stopping by!
A good one, my blogging friend! I know the feeling all too well. I’ve even had moments when I’ve gone off searching through our small condo, looking for Aaron because there’s a post I want to share with him, only to realize that he’s still at work!! Much love and naked hugs! 🙂
Welcome to my life! Hahahaha. I’ve mostly been an introvert so I actually enjoy being alone…so much so, that I tend to unknowingly isolate myself. lol
Oh man, yes, some days it’s so nice to have that alone time, but I get so antsy most of the time.