Prince Charming

Who is Prince Charming? Does the comparison – of one’s new, old, or off and on again boyfriend – truly mean anything, or has society programmed us all to think that it’s some end-defining-scare-the-man-away-anti-feminist notion? A recent exchange with friends made me consider what the idea of Prince Charming really means within a relationship. The group of us were at a bar, watching Big Ten basketball, and enjoying beers when I mentioned to my friend’s boyfriend that he was like her prince charming; keep in mind this was my first time meeting him. He handled the comment like a gentleman, and I later found out, via my husband’s opinion, that the comment was “awkward,” and that my friend was a smidge embarrassed.

Making awkward comparisons and embarrassing my friend was never my intention. The way I viewed my comparison was the fact that both of us had been through a great deal of shitty dating experiences, boys, not men, and our fair share of situations you may only see in movies; movies that usually end with someone’s heart being grinded up in some dramatic, emotional fashion.  I’m genuinely happy that she has found someone, and stand by what I said in that moment. So, why is there so much weight placed on the idea of portraying a Prince Charming-like character? I know full well that my friend does not need any man to save her from anything, so maybe I should have tried to compliment their relationship in another manner?

My view of who Prince Charming can be is not so traditional. If I were Rapunzel, there’s no way in hell I would be waiting for a man to come and rescue me from a tower – only to get knocked up with kids, who I would love dearly, and become a housewife. That’s never been me, or any of the people I surround myself with; nothing against those of you who would enjoy, or aspire to be stay-at-home parents.  What’s wrong with Prince Charming being nothing more than a man that’s extremely attractive, has a good job, sends out every signal and vibe that he loves the woman, or man, that he has found, and is an overall good fit for your life where it stands currently?

My husband is my Prince Charming because he entered my life at the right moment. He didn’t save me like some fairy tale hero, but we were ready for each other; ready to give each other a try, with no specific ending (good or bad), or timeline in mind.  He challenges me, emotionally and professionally, and most of all, he inspires thoughts of what a realistic, adult future could be. For me, this future with my Prince Charming is not a stereotype-fueled vision of what the American dream should be, but a relationship that works, is filled with love, and one that encourages our growth as people. No pressure, no awkwardness, just owning and living your relationship to its highest potential.

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8 thoughts on “Prince Charming

  1. aguywithoutboxers says:

    A harmless and innocent compliment that was totally misconstrued. That’s the way that I see your comment. No disrespect to your friends, but I think that sometimes we’ve become too sensitive for our own good. Not that we shouldn’t be mindful of the feelings of others, but we don’t need to put too much importance on an innocent remark by others. Good post, my blogging buddy! Much love and naked hugs! 😉

  2. Oscar Alejandro Plascencia says:

    Prince Charming is a heavy title to bare. Way too much responsibility and expectation in the mind of said Prince, especially early on in a relationship. But you are right, Prince Charming is no longer the knight in shining armour come to rescue us from anything. Simply a lover who is there to compliment us in everyway and hopefully there to stay.

    • gaysinthelife says:

      Yeah I think it’s only as heavy as each party wants to make it. I definitely didn’t mean to make it heavy. Society and history has made the notion heavy. Hopefully people start to break out of that mindset. Thanks!

  3. alexandrarumell says:

    I would guess that the reason your friend was embarrassed was because, by saying a man is someone’s “Prince Charming”, you’re suggesting that she idolizes him in a way. Prince Charming was a prince, after all. Cinderella idolized him. It’s not that he’s rescuing her that’s embarrassing at all, I think…that’s romantic.

    I would love a Prince of Manners. Charming men have something to hide. Men with manners are the best.

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